VACATION PARENTING

       

If you are planning to go away this intercession,
here are some helpful tips to help ensure a SAFE vacation:


· First, make sure to set up an easy and inexpensive way to stay in touch with family members. One option is to download WhatsApp. This app operates like a text message but because it operates on WiFi, it is free. You and your family can use its group feature, which allows you to communicate all together. If you are leaving the country and wish to use your own cell phone, contact your provider to see if they offer a discount calling plan. It varies between each provider but is generally a low, flat fee for the month and a much lower per-minute fee for both incoming and outgoing calls.


· Establish rules. Before going away, sit down and have a discussion with your family about what is and what is not proper vacation behavior. If you are giving the gift of a great vacation, you have the right to expect certain conduct.


· Discuss the laws of your chosen destination. Outside of America, many gambling casinos, clubs and bars don’t ask for an ID. Speak about what are, and what are not, age-appropriate and acceptable behaviors. It is also wise to research and talk about the regulations of alcohol consumption and other activities at your chosen destination. Penalties for public drunkenness or drunk driving may be much harsher than in the States. Having U.S. citizenship may not save your child from being prosecuted under a foreign country's justice system.


· Don’t relax away the clock. Many resorts are set up in a way that make parents feel safe enough to let their teens roam freely, but it is best to establish some limits. One idea is to set up a floating curfew, wherein you discuss appropriate times to come in before they go out. Consider that there is more possibility of danger in the late hours. It is best to tell your teen to wake you upon his or her return.


· Keep stress in check. Vacations are a great time to bond with the family, but also a time when stress may be high. Remember that a person’s self-esteem is fragile at any age, so it is best to manage frustration without causing damage.


· Understand that you are being watched. Children do as we do and not necessarily as we say and vacations present many opportunities for parents to be wonderful role models. Have a great time!

Some of the information for this article was adapted from: http://bit.ly/1xWiXnY

This article was written by SAFE and published in Image Magazine.

HOW TO INFLUENCE YOUR TEEN AWAY FROM DRUGS

When raising a teenager, it is natural to feel that there is little we can do to change his or her behavior. Furthermore, we often think that the child’s friends have much more influence over them than we do. However, clinical experience suggests that Mom and Dad are more important to their teenager than either realize. Parents can influence their teens. Why? Because teens truly care what their parents think. For example, studies show that kids who learn a lot about the risks of drugs and alcohol from their parents are up to 50% less likely to use than those who do not.

On that note, here are some tips to help you discuss with your teen the dangers of drug and alcohol use with your teen and help safeguard this summer:


· Use news reports or stories you’ve heard as conversation starters. If you see a news story about an alcohol-related car accident, discuss how the victims were affected. If the story is about drugs in your community, talk about the ways your community has changed as drug use has grown.


· Talk about the toxic environments and situations your child may be exposed to. He can educate you about what he is seeing, as you can educate him about the facts and risks involved.


· Be very definite about you feel about drug and alcohol use. Explain how it can have serious permanent consequences and put a person in risky, dangerous, and even deadly situations. Emphasize that can anybody can become a chronic user or addict. Let him know how deeply disappointed you would be if he started using drugs.


· Emphasize what drug use can do to someone’s life and future plans. Discuss how abstaining from drug use will increase his chances of creating a successful future.


· Challenge your child to be a leader among his friends and to direct his group to a productive, drug-free path.


· Compliment your teen for the all the things he does well and for the positive choices he makes. Let him know how you appreciate what a good role model he is for his younger siblings and other kids in the community.

This article was written by SAFE and is based on information from these sites:

http://bit.ly/146zOcP

http://bit.ly/1HW1U9X

If you or someone you know needs help, please call our confidential, toll-free hotline, 24/7 at 1-866-569-SAFE (7233).

Have a question? E-mail: ask@thesafefoundation.org

REPLACING YELLING WITH POSITIVE PARENTING

How a child is treated by the person who raises him can make all the difference in what type of life he’ll lead. A new study says that if one was raised with criticism, yelling, or threats, he’s more likely to be anxious or depressed as a young adult. Once a person is thus affected, his likelihood to become involved in substance abuse increases, as he may turn to drugs and alcohol to mask pain and discomfort.  Research does indeed indicate that those with anxiety disorders are two to three times more likely than the general population to have an alcohol or other substance abuse disorder at some point in their lives.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YELLING?

Research has linked verbally aggressive parenting to changes in children’s brain development and to personality disorders later in life.

Researchers found that even if another parent (or that same parent) expressed plenty of affection, the harmful effects of having a verbally aggressive mother or father persisted.

Being raised with yelling can be as damaging as actual physical abuse.

Meghan Leahy, a mother of three and a local parenting coach told the Washington Post, “If you yell at your child, you either create somebody who yells back at you or someone who is shamed and retreats.You’re either growing aggression or growing shame.”

The good news is that children CAN AND WILL behave without yelling, hitting, threats, and bribes. Here are some tips to help you discipline in a positive and productive way:

If a child is acting out, something’s wrong. Look beneath the surface to see the cause. Does he need attention? Is he feeling jealous? Are we expecting behaviors from him that are not age-appropriate and he is not yet capable of? Ask yourself what you can you do to help satisfy your child's need.

Children learn how to cope with stress from how their parents cope with stress. Your positive example will be more powerful than your loudest yell, so focus on controlling yourself—not your child.

When your child does something bad, it is an opportunity for you to teach a value. Lovingly, gently, and sternly convey that while he may have had a reason to act that way, the behavior is not acceptable. Take this time to explain why what he did is damaging. Help him come up with alternatives to his actions, so that he can solve this type of problem differently in the future. This can also be an opportune moment to teach empathy.

Children often act up because they want your attention, so sometimes it pays to ignore the behaviors you wish to eliminate. Think of your attention as vitamins, nourishing and growing that which you focus on.  As the lyrics of a popular song go, “You've got to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.”

The best reward for a kid is time with his parents. This time also helps to raise a happy, well-behaved child. Spend a few minutes connecting one-on-one with your child every day by joining him doing something he likes.

Bribes send the message that good conduct is not rewarding by itself, so take that tool out of your parenting tool belt. Rather highlight what constructive consequences will result and have resulted from positive behavior.

When your child is misbehaving, redirect your child’s energy to a more acceptable, fun activity. Get creative!

This article was written by SAFE and has been adapted from the following articles:

Positive Parenting Won't Make Up For Yelling -Reuters Health

and from:

http://to.pbs.org/1bf8cPd

http://slate.me/19sYwGF

http://bit.ly/1hvfWAB

http://abcn.ws/14zw1Ga

A version of this article was published in Image Magazine.

SAFE's ANNUAL DINNER 2014

The SAFE Foundation's 12th Annual Gala Dinner began with a beautiful sunset and a deliciously catered meal at the home of Ester and Joey Jerome in Elberon, New Jersey on Tuesday night, August 26th. Guests arrived, one after the other, with a desire to support an organization that has served the community for 12 years. 

First on the agenda was an awards ceremony, and the first award was The Sonny I. Gindi A"H Merit Award for Outstanding Dedication to Helping Those in Need. Each year since the passing of SAFE's good friend, Sonny I. Gindi, A"H, SAFE has given this honor to one who has gone above and beyond in terms of dedication to the community. This year, it was proudly presented to Trina & Joe Cayre and their family. Presenter of the award, Nancy Tebele, stated that the Cayre family has been there to support the community in a multitude of ways. She said, "The Cayres always goes the extra mile- whether helping us through difficult times, supporting recovery, brainstorming on new business ideas, advising on how to mentor our children - The Cayres have been a constant source of support.”


The next award was the Employee Appreciation Award presented by the Executive Director of The SAFE Foundation Ike Dweck to the Director of the Project SAFE School Program Shira Berkowitz. Ike said, “Before Shira started, our community had very little substance abuse education in our schools and just a small amount of prevention programs for our children in Brooklyn and Deal. We had a vision to bring SAFE into our community schools, and what we have accomplished with Project SAFE is a direct result of Shira’s outstanding work. Currently, we reach 6,000 students each week.”


Shira humbly accepted the award and explained a bit about Project SAFE. She told the audience how the school program teaches life and prevention skills to thousands of community students in the Tri-state area, as well as in South America. She also shared the good news about the program being sought after by other yeshivot in America. She said, “Schools all over the country are hearing about the prevention program in the Sephardic community. Just this week I received calls from schools in Florida and Atlanta. My goal is for the program to be in every community school and every Jewish school in America.”


A very touching moment was when Shira expressed her gratitude to Ike Dweck and the team at SAFE for being incredibly supportive when she lost her first husband to cancer. She said, “SAFE stood by me and helped me through that very difficult time.”


The ceremony closed with the NY ‎Regional Vice President of Caron Treatment Centers, Todd Whitmer addressing the crowd. Caron is the one of the oldest and largest drug and alcohol addiction treatment centers in the United States. Todd said, “Caron doesn’t have too many partnerships like the one we built with SAFE. I can confidently say that there’s not another organization like SAFE. Professionals in the field of addiction consider SAFE to be like a Swiss Army knife - a multi-purpose one-stop shop for everything to do with addiction and its prevention.” Todd also told of how SAFE trained staff at Caron to be sensitive to the needs of Jewish Orthodox clients, from understanding kashrut to the laws of Shabbat.


The SAFE Foundation is grateful to the hosts of the evening, Ester and Joey Jerome, to The Bank Hapoalim for sponsoring the evening, and to all of the donors who help keep SAFE in the position to help those in need.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call our 24/7 toll-free, confidential hotline 1866-569-SAFE (7233).

DA THOMPSON MEETS THE SAFE FOUNDATION

On Tuesday morning, October 28th, members of The SAFE Foundation joined approximately 20 leaders from the Brooklyn Jewish community at a Meet n’ Greet with the recently elected District Attorney Ken Thompson.


The event took place at the Borough Park home of Mendy Reiner, the founder of Renewal (a nonprofit organization that helps the Jewish community by cutting down the wait for kidney transplants.)


Ike Dweck, Founder and Executive Director of The SAFE Foundation, described to DA Thompson the daily, life-saving work that his organization does. Ike described how SAFE’s addiction counselors and staff service the community, offering comprehensive outpatient care to those who are battling drug, alcohol, and gambling addictions.


After this, board member Joe Cabasso told his story of recovery, highlighting Ike Dweck and SAFE’s role in his recovery. He also told the DA how through the Project SAFE School Program; he enters into many of the Jewish community schools a few times each year to share the story of his struggle with addiction.


Joe impressed everyone in the room with a recent story. He told of a young man who recently sought him out to say that because of Joe’s presentation at his school a few years ago; he was able to recognize that he too was in trouble. As a result, he reached out for help and is currently in a recovery program. At the end of Joe’s story and presentation, everyone in the room jumped up with a standing ovation.


DA Thompson emphasized his dedication to offering counseling, coaching and support to those with addiction problems, and expressed great interest in meeting with


Ike Dweck to especially hear more about the Project SAFE School Program, with the hopes of bringing the program to public schools all over New York.

SAFE's REACH IN PANAMA

                                                 

                                                         (Perla Silvera’s winning ad)

In 2008, Rabbi Sion Levy TZ”L, the then Chief Rabbi of the Sephardic community in Panama, called parents to a meeting to warn of the dangers threatening the youth. Toward the end of his speech, he broke down, beseeching parents to protect their children from drugs, alcohol, and gambling.


In 2011, after seeing that indeed, there were problems that had to be addressed; community leaders looked to The SAFE Foundation for help. After directors from SAFE visited Panama and representatives from Panama came to New York, the Panamanian community introduced SAFE, calling it COMSANA, meaning: A Healthy Community.


Program Director of Comsana, Yvonne Attia, proudly states that currently the program is successfully running in their three community schools.


Comsana works with a translated version of the Project SAFE curriculum, translates and distributes SAFE’s Parent Emails, and visits SAFE in New York regularly for trainings.


This past August, coordinators of Comsana introduced the successful Project SAFE AD Contest to their high school students. Just as for the community students in Brooklyn and Deal, the rules of the competition were to create a powerful and creative ad reflecting one of the lessons they’ve learned in class. Before launching, the instructors decided to decorate their schools’ hallways with the winning ads from SAFE USA’s contest. This created a lot of excitement, especially because the first place prizes were MacBooks. Coordinators of Comsana, Educator Corinne Smilovici, and Psychologist Becky Malca, said, “The students were shocked that we were going to be giving out such great prizes. At first they didn’t believe us!”


First place winner Perla Silvera said, “This was a great experience, and we learned a lot! We applied the concepts that we learned in Comsana and used our own ideas. From our ads, the members of Comsana realized how important and productive their work has been.”


Director of Project SAFE Shira Berkowitz said, “It’s wonderful to see the impact we have on our sister community in Panama.” Yossi Sirote, the Associate Director of Project SAFE agreed. He said, “It’s fascinating to see the likenesses between the 2 communities. We are grateful that we can face similar challenges, collaborate, and be so productive together.”

To find out more about The Project SAFE School Program

or if you, or someone you know, needs help, call our 24/7 hotline 866-569-SAFE (7233).

This article was previously published in Community Magazine. 

SAFE'S YOUR FAVORITE AD CONTEST

Double tapping to like an Instagram picture, retweeting to show that you agree with or enjoy the words in a tweet, and looking for followers and “likes” has become a pastime and pursuit of many these days. And, The SAFE Foundation is right there in the social media mix. 

On July 21st, SAFE launched the Your Favorite Ad Contest, inviting people of all ages to log on to SAFE’s Instagram or Twitter accounts to peruse, choose, and repost their favorite ad posting. The ads on these sites promote healthy living and protest dangerous activity in whimsical, sometimes sarcastic, always creative ways that challenge viewers to think about their meanings. Some of the ads were created by students for the annual Project SAFE Ad Contest, run by SAFE’s School Program. Others were created by The SAFE Foundation’s Marketing Department.


Once the contest was announced, the amount of followers, likes, and participants, representing every age, grew by the minute - throughout the entire week. Summer intern Jo Jo Betesh, 14, was instrumental in recruiting many of his friends to join in, prompting them to repost and try to win the prize, a Kindle Fire. Jo was also instrumental in creating many of the creative ad posts to announce the contest. Log on to Twitter @thesafefndtn or on Instagram @thesafefoundation to see the short film revealing the lucky winner, Michael Defeff’, and to enjoy SAFE’s posts!