IS YOUR CHILD OVER-CONNECTED?

 Can you remember your parents kicking you out of the house to play with neighbors and get some fresh air? Do you recall putting on shows with friends? Turning a cardboard box into a clubhouse with your siblings? Being bored? Creating something out of nothing? While many of us feel that it is important to keep up with the times, we also worry that kids today (and adults!) are spending too much time engaged alone by a phone or computer rather than interacting with others in the real world. How do we know how much time on the web is too much time on the web? Here are some positives and negative aspects of teens spending their time social networking, some tell-tale signs of a problem, and some tips to bring your child’s eyes up and away from the screen. 


The Pros to Teen Involvement in Social Networking:


· Social media provides a forum to express oneself creatively


· One can build a supportive social network online


· Social media outlets offer an easy way to stay in touch with family and friends


· Social media sites offer efficient access to news and information


The Cons to Teen Involvement in Social Networking:


· Cyberbullying is a sad reality that becomes more prevalent with more time spent socializing on the web


· Hyper-networking, spending more than 3 hours per school day on social networking sites has been connected to doing poorly in school, higher stress, depression, and suicide levels, promiscuity, and substance abuse issues.

You May Need To Limit Your Child’s Computer Use If You See:


· Your child disappearing into his room for hours on end


· Declining academic performance


· Fatigue, frequent school lateness or absenteeism –possibly indicating too many hours at night spent on the computer/phone


· Withdrawal from what was once considered normal activity


· An inability to pull away from the computer and transition to another activity


Limit Your Child’s Time On The Computer By:


· Encouraging involvement in sports, teams, and extra-curricular activities


· Promoting outdoor activity and play


· Creating enriching family time and events


· Spending time with them cooking, doing crafts, going for walks… Get creative!


· Encouraging volunteer work


· Enforcing bedtime cellphone restrictions


· Discussing and creating incentives for good grades

This article was written by The SAFE Foundation and adapted from:

http://www.byparents-forparents.com/parenting/is-your-teen-over-connected-04691.htm

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201004/teens-and-the-internet-how-much-is-too-much

CAN YOUR KID COPE?

Some children grow up in stable homes with many advantages, but may still end up making poor choices that lead to problems with drugs, alcohol or other high-risk behaviors. Conversely, children from dysfunctional families can grow to become successful and productive members of society. In trying to explain why some fall and others navigate safely and successfully through the maze of youth, many experts point specifically to the quality of resilience, the ability to overcome adversity.


The American Academy of Pediatrics defines the key elements a child needs to deal with life’s challenges as the 7 C’s of Resilience. They are: competence, confidence, connection, character, control, coping and contribution.


Experts agree that one of the most important Cs is that of having good coping skills. Ideally, building this skill should be done when kids are young, but it is never too late.


Alissa Sklar, PH.D observed that her students with poor coping skills miss deadlines and class, blame others, and fall apart once the going gets tough. She notes that often these are students who, when growing up, had someone micromanaging their lives, hovering over them to pick up the pieces when things went awry.


Here are some things you can do to help your child become more resilient:


· Encourage your child to be physically active.


· Encourage your child to join a sports team or extracurricular activities.

· Encourage your child’s interests and hobbies.


· Prepare your child ahead of time for difficult situations he may face by posing hypothetical questions, such as: What would you do if your friends were all pressuring you to do drugs?


· Listen to your child with empathy and without interruptions, and judgments.


· Children often learn more by recovering from their social mistakes and by analyzing what they did wrong than by making the right decision the first time, so engage in analytical conversations about the challenges your child has faced or is facing.


· Guide your child toward solutions instead of supplying quick answers for your child. Let your child do the work.


· Encourage journal writing.


· Encourage speaking to a therapist when needed.

            

This article was adapted from:http://www.risk-within-reason.com/2011/10/24/coping-strategies/            

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the SAFE Foundation’s confidential, toll-free hotline, 24/7 at 1-866-569-SAFE (7233).

WHEN SHY LEADS TO HIGH

It is completely normal to feel shy occasionally, especially when with total strangers or judgmental individuals, but for some people, shyness can be debilitating and even dangerous.


Someone who experiences intense social anxiety may have palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath, sweats, and blundering speech. Sadly, too often, individuals suffering from this level of discomfort with social interaction turn to drugs or alcohol as an attempt to “loosen up.” However, this type of dependency and “self-medicating” can quickly lead to a full-blown dependency problem requiring addiction treatment.


Studies have shown that approximately 20% of individuals with social anxiety struggle with abuse or addiction.


Living with a combination of a social anxiety disorder and a substance abuse addiction can be more than overwhelming. In addition to the well-known dangers of addiction, studies suggest that those living with social anxiety and substance abuse live lives filled with shame, loneliness and a lack of empowerment. They are also less likely to get married, which is often due to their difficulties in developing close interpersonal relationships. Studies also show that alcoholics with social anxiety disorder have lower job status and less peer social support than alcoholics who don’t have this disorder. According to Murray Stein, MD, MPH, alcohol use can also increase anxiety, irritability, or depression, adding to even more social problems.


Shyness is rooted in having many doubts and insecurities about one’s self. If a person suffering in this way learns to understand how and why these insecurities formed, he can learn to view himself differently and slowly but surely overcome this problem. This work can effectively be done by going to a therapist. Once an individual finds a therapist he can trust, it will be possible to explore the problem in greater depth and arrive at workable solutions. 

One thing a good therapist will do is help his client learn to identify damaging thinking patterns. For example, many people with social anxiety have very negative, anxiety-provoking self-talk. “They will think I’m stupid” and “Everyone is going to talk about me” are typical thoughts for one suffering from social anxiety. Therapy can help one understand that there are more positive and realistic ways to think about social situations. In some cases, medication will be suggested.


In short, a good counselor can teach someone who is battling intense feelings of social anxiety to lead a productive, happy, and empowered life free from debilitating shyness…and addiction.

If you fear that your shyness has led you to abuse drugs or alcohol, please call our 24-hour toll-free helpline.866-569-7233

Image Magazine published a version of this SAFE article in their November 2014 issue.

This article has been adapted from the following sources:
http://www.addictionhelpcenter.com/overcoming-shyness-and-addiction/

http://www.addictiontreatmentmagazine.com/social-phobia/social-anxiety-can-drive-teens-to-alcohol-drug-abuse/

http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-recovery/shyness-in-recovery/

http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder/social-anxiety-and-alcohol-abuse

THE IMPORTANCE OF IMPULSE CONTROL

In today’s world of “click here”, desires are met almost immediately. We all enjoy having instant answers from the internet, skipping commercials, and receiving packages the next day, but we should know that in this climate of speedy satisfaction, it’s much harder to strengthen that part of the brain that controls one’s impulses. The reason it is important to have well-developed impulse control is because there are links between this ability and success, as well as the reverse: studies show a connection between poor impulse control and addiction. Without giving up the convenience of a more efficient lifestyle, there are ways to develop one’s impulse control. Read on…


WHAT EXACTLY IS IMPULSE CONTROL AND

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT?


Impulsivity is the inability to rule over one’s own behavior; to resist temptation and to sacrifice present gratification in pursuit of future attainment. It is not typically defined by one act, but rather by a pattern of behavior.


People who have good impulse control have less behavioral problems and are more likely to achieve success in school, work, and relationships. Here’s why:


PEOPLE WHO CAN CONTROL THEIR IMPULSES CAN:


· Think before they act and speak


· Resist peer pressure


· Wait their turn


· Utilize critical thinking skills to solve problems


· Tolerate frustration


· Handle stress


· Manage anger


In a recent New York Times article titled What Drives Success? Authors Amy Chua and Jed Rubenfeld state that successful groups of people in America (Jews among them) share three character traits, one of which is impulse control.


According to neuroscience researchers Sandra Aamodt and Sam Wang, who co-authored “Welcome to Your Child’s Brain,” self-control is twice as important as intelligence when it comes to academic achievement!


THE CONNECTION BETWEEN IMPULSIVITY

AND DRUG ABUSE:


Research supports the idea that those who have difficulty controlling their impulses may be more prone to drink excessively or abuse drugs. A study using rats at the University of Cambridge found that the rats with higher levels of impulsivity developed compulsive drug use.


Roy V. Tellis, Program Director of The SAFE Foundation says, “Addicts don’t think…They act. What appears as an addict’s irrational and dangerous behaviors (driving again under the influence with a DWI, using drugs before taking a drug test, using outlandish excuses to explain repeated lateness and absences) are clearly traced to a lack of impulse control.”


Findings presented in the journal Nature Neuroscience claim there is strong evidence that some teenagers are at higher risk for drug and alcohol experimentation—simply because their brains work differently, making them more impulsive. Dr. Dougherty, whose particular focus is impulsive behaviors, states that impulsivity is the route leading to drug abuse and suicide. Continue reading below...Also In addition to this data, there are documented links between damage to the right orbitofrontal cortex of the brain and disorders of impulsivity and compulsivity, such as drug addiction, obsessive compulsive disorder, and attention-deficit disorder.


MANAGING IMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR:


The good news is that it is never too late to change habits; you can improve your self-control. Experiments done with rats found that training the brain to resist impulses actually increases the strength of electrical signals in the brain.


Here are some ways to strengthen your impulse control:


1. Practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness means that you slooooowwww down, take time to evaluate your external surroundings and circumstances, and be mindful of controlling your responses to them.


2. Stay with people who are likely to weigh the consequences of their actions. Spending time with those who are not impulsive can help you to keep your own behavior in check.


3. Work to separate feelings from actions. Identify your feelings, and then give yourself some time to study the choices you have to express what you feel.


4. Identify the areas of your life where impulse control gets you into trouble, and create “speed bumps” or obstacles between yourself and that situation.


5. If you know that you tend to be impulsive, designate someone in your life who you can go to for corrective feedback; someone who will tell you if you are acting impulsively or if you need to give the matter more thought.


6. Before you act on impulse, take a moment to predict how your actions will affect your future. Ask yourself, “Will my actions contribute to my life plan or detract from it?


7. Being unable to tolerate frustration can be a big factor in having poor impulse control, so know that when you are frustrated, it’s time to give yourself a “time out” to recompose and review your behavior choices.


8. Seek addiction treatment: If you struggle with drug abuse or alcoholism, the first stop is to seek professional treatment, for it’s simply the most effective path toward living a healthier life. With therapy, you’ll learn how to manage undesirable emotions, practice mindfulness, and make appropriate, thoughtful decisions.

This article was written by SAFE and some of the information  was adapted from:
 http://abt.cm/1oHttgY
http://bit.ly/1f579Zw,
http://1.usa.gov/1oHtOAd

                  A version of this article was published in Image Magazine.

ADDERALL ABUSE

Adderall is a stimulant medication that is often used to treat children, adolescents, or adults who are diagnosed with narcolepsy or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Those with ADHD have more difficulty paying attention or are more hyperactive or impulsive than other people of the same age. Adderall, and other like drugs, keeps the brain chemicals dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin in the brain synapses longer. This helps those suffering from ADHD to calm down and organize thoughts that had been too scattered, making learning too difficult.


Because prescription stimulants such as Adderall suppress appetite, increase wakefulness, and increase focus and attention, they are often abused. These stimulants are often taken by those without a prescription, taken in higher quantities, or in a different manner than prescribed. Many use Adderall to help them lose weight or to enhance their concentration, especially during exam times – giving it the name of “the study drug.”You may be saying to yourself, “An easier way to lose weight? More concentration? Why not then?”Indeed, when one is looking at the immediate aspirations of shedding pounds or getting through final week at school, taking stimulants may seem quite appealing. However, according to Clinical Director of The SAFE Foundation Kevin Barry Heaney, LCSW, CASAC, people embarking on that path should understand that their actions today can be locking them into a lifetime of drug dependence.


Adderall presents a high risk for both a psychological and physical addiction. For example, some who take the drug to stave off hunger often find themselves taking increasing amounts to get the same amount of appetite suppression. And those who use Adderall to intensify their mental edge during exams do not necessarily feel able to give it up when studying is no longer an issue. Furthermore, because the drug makes a person feel more alert and energetic, the brain begins to link taking the pill to feeling good. This is the type of mental association that creates an addiction.


Additionally, because the brain adjusts quickly to conditions, pretty soon, taking just one pill does not present the same effect, and the person will find the need to increase the dosage.If Adderall is taken without a doctor’s prescription, it can be dangerous. As a stimulant, it speeds up the heart, so if someone has an unknown heart problem, it could cause an irregular heartbeat and even cardiac arrest. Misuse of the drug also increases the risk of strokes, high blood pressure, and can even bring on OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.)


Another lure for young adults to take Adderall is the need to keep up. Just as athletes use performance enhancing drugs to compete with others doing the same, students may feel that they need to take stimulants in order to level the playing field at school. However, Heaney calls upon us to think about what it means to our society and to our children when we allow such practices.


Heaney says, “Performance drugs have contaminated sports and the university. We need to ask ourselves if we want to keep promoting a medicated society. Parents who turn a blind eye or even encourage the usage of these drugs should also realize that they are allowing chemical dependency to take the place of hard work. Instead of conveying the importance of understanding and dealing with issues of confidence, dieting, discipline and learning, they are saying that it is acceptable to use chemicals to cut corners.”


We are especially challenged today, in an age wherein technology has eliminated the need to delay gratification. But in order to develop resilience, strength of character, create fulfilling relationships, achieve goals, and become physically and emotionally healthy, we need to exercise patience with the sometimes slow and demanding processes involved. Depending on drugs to take the place of concentrated work feeds into this culture of being immediately gratified and can quickly erode the relationship between struggle and the building of character.


Other concerns about Adderall present themselves when one wishes to stop taking the drug. Symptoms can include: extreme depression, dysphoria (intense dissatisfaction with life,) anxiety, paranoia, mood swings, fatigue, abdominal pain, drug craving, increased heart rate, insomnia, and seizures. If someone abruptly stops taking Adderall, the effects of acute withdrawal are unnecessarily severe and can be quite dangerous; the brain and central nervous system are flooded with neurotransmitter chemicals that trigger “rebound” effects. This can result in cardiac arrest, coma, extreme fatigue, loss of consciousness, psychosis, seizures, and death.


So, we at the SAFE Foundation present the question: How far do you hang your values, health, and future off a cliff in the pursuit of approval? As Heaney says, “I, for one, believe that what our society needs is more self-acceptance rather than more self-medication.” *Note: It is The SAFE Foundation’s position that Adderall and like drugs are helpful when prescribed by a doctor who has prescribed the drug as a treatment and will be properly monitoring usage.


A new national survey by The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids cites these findings:

· 1 in 5 college students reports abusing prescription stimulants at least once in their lifetime. 

· Young adults between the ages of 18-25, are most likely to abuse Adderall, Ritalin, and Vyvanse, which are all stimulants prescribed for ADHD.


· 28 percent of young adults who have been legally prescribed Rx stimulants share their medicine with friends.


· More than 1 in 4 young adults who are legally prescribed stimulants purposefully exaggerate symptoms to obtain larger doses of the medication from their physicians.


· Data shows that college students are abusing these stimulants in a misguided effort to manage their time because they are burning the candle at both ends - trying to do too much socially and academically.

Steve Pasierb, President and CEO of the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids believes that this situation presents an opportunity for parents and health care professionals to play a pivotal role in helping students better manage their time and commitments.

 A version of this article was published in Image Magazine.

This article was written by SAFE and adapted from the following sources:

http://1.usa.gov/1xWZlAy

http://nbcnews.to/1B4f70p

 http://bit.ly/10WJzJs,

 http://bit.ly/1xJEu1D

http://bit.ly/1x5waaE

http://bit.ly/1yXRrFs

http://bit.ly/11QxAOs

If you or someone you know needs help, please call our confidential hotline, 24/7 866-569-SAFE (7233).

Have a question, email: ask@thesafefoundation.org

PROJECT SAFE AD CONTEST 2014

	When Bridget Cain got a call into the principal’s office, she froze. “I didn’t know what I did wrong - I was so worried!” Bridget recounted her story to the Director of Project SAFE, Shira Berkowitz and to Project SAFE’s Associate Director of Special Programs, Yossi Sirote. When Bridget found out that she was actually summoned to receive the news that she’d won the Middle Division First Place Prize, a MacBook Air, for the Project SAFE Ad Contest, she was elated! Bridget was not alone in her excitement. Indeed, all around the 3 participating schools: Magen David Yeshivah, The Yeshivah of Flatbush, and Hillel Yeshiva, students were in abuzz in early April with talk about the ads and the winners of the contest.   The contest began at the end of February, when The SAFE Foundation’s Project SAFE invited 6th-12th graders to compose a powerful and creative ad reflecting a message they had learned in SAFE class. Topics were: substance abuse, addiction, gambling, internet safety, healthy relationships, peer pressure, body image and self-esteem.

Twelfth grader, Abie Tawil was the High School First Place Winner.  He said that the ad he created on Photoshop was inspired by a video he saw in SAFE class about the dangers of gambling. From the video, he learned that at the end of the day, the odds are truly not in your favor. Abie said, “I realized that people don’t realize the dangers associated with gambling as much as they are aware of the problems connected to other addictions.  I felt that more awareness was needed about this topic. When I found out that I won, I was really excited, not just about winning the MacBook Air, which is awesome, but also because my message came across, and because my attempt to spread this awareness was a success. I was so happy that my hard work was appreciated and it was for a worthy cause!”  

 

One parent wrote to SAFE saying, “It was really great to see my kids and their friends work on their ads for the contest. All of the kids were scrambling before the deadline to spell out their ideas. It was such a fantastic idea to have this contest, because it created so much awareness.”

One of the SAFE teachers said, “When we were going through the contest ads, one of the winning entries sparked a lot of amazing on-the-spot conversation about internet safety. This was another great benefit of the contest.”

He continued, “I also noticed that students who usually don’t get involved in projects were coming out of the woodwork to participate. It was great to see!”

In addition to the two top winners, 6 Runners-up each won a $100 Amazon Gift Card and ten students received Honorable Mention Certificates. All of these ads were posted on SAFE’s blog, Facebook, and Instagram, with parents, students, and onlookers enthusiastically liking and commenting on the posts, adding to the contest hype.

To see more of these fantastic creations, go to:
Our blog: thesafefndtn.blogspot.com,

Our Facebook: facebook.com/safe.fndtn,

Our Instagram: Instagram.com/thesafefoundation

A special thank you to The Gindi Family for sponsoring the contest in memory of their father and grandfather, Sonny I. Gindi, a”h.

This article was written by SAFE and previously published in Image Magazine. 

If you or someone you know needs help, please call our confidential, toll-free hotline, 24/7 at 866-569-SAFE (7233).

Have a question? E-mail: ask@thesafefoundation.org

You can also visit us at www.TheSafeFoundation.org for tips, information and resources.

MOJO!

THE SAFE FOUNDATION INVITES STUDENTS TO “MOJO UP” AGAINST BULLYING

Written by staff at The SAFE Foundation

                             

UMAD, MOJO SWAG, MOJO HATERS, MOJO UP! These are just some of the expressions The SAFE Foundation’s presenter Mr. MOJO, a world renowned inspirational speaker taught students in Magen David Yeshivah and The Yeshivah of Flatbush one December day. Mr. Mojo is a celebrity, known for his talent as a “Made Coach” in MTV’s reality TV show Made. He is also sought after by the NFL for his ability to inspire professional athletes. His present passion is to encourage students, parents, and educators to take the MOJO UP Anti Bullying Challenge and join him on his mission to change the world, one student at a time.

Riling up the auditorium crowd with claps, shouts, and even a game of Simon Says – rather, MOJO Says - Mr. MOJO excited and inspired close to 1,000 students (and the teachers as well) in just one day!

Yossi Sirote, Project SAFE’s Associate Director of Special Programs said, “MOJO was so charismatic, real, and kind. He connected so well with everyone!”

MOJO began by explaining MOJO. He shouted, “MOJO means that you choose to live at the highest level of positive attitude, positive energy, enthusiasm, purpose, and passion! MOJO SWAG is when you look in the mirror and like what you see; it is having the confidence that you can become successful! And UMAD? UMAD means that You Make A Difference!” MOJO continued, “For example, every day when you show up to school, you make a difference; you decide whether you wish to make a negative or positive difference. It is your choice. When you are about to say something, ask yourself – will these words I am about to say hurt someone or will they help someone? If the answer is ‘hurt,’ keep it to yourself. If the answer is ‘help’ – go for it!”

MOJO told a story of a girl who was teased in school for having such a very short haircut. The reason, unbeknownst to her classmates, was that she was recovering from cancer.

MOJO explained that we have a “normal box” and if people don’t fit into that box, we may treat them disrespectfully. He asked, “Can you MOJO UP and respect others’ differences?”

He then told another story about a girl named Carrie who was taunted by fellow students with cow sounds as she entered the school bus, because she was overweight. Carrie is now grown up. Carrie is MOJO’s mother. Her older sister, MOJO’s aunt, was on that bus too, but was afraid and did nothing.

MOJO exclaimed, “A part of MOJO-ing UP is saying that you are going to stand up for what is right; that you can be counted on to do the right thing!”

Director of Project SAFE Shira Berkowitz said, “Every day students are either bullied, bullying, or watching someone get bullied. Even though this topic has been spoken about before, MOJO offered a fresh perspective and really motivated students to get involved.”

One week later, kids in SAFE classes were still buzzing about the MOJO’s call to action: Isaac Malakh, student at Magen David Yeshivah said that MOJO taught him that every person can make a difference. Elliot Kassab said that MOJO inspired him to reach out to other people. Eddie Levy now understands how one person can have a big impact on another person’s life.

MOJO explained that some people who are bullied can turn to cutting, taking drugs, drinking, or even suicide. MOJO impressed upon the crowd that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem; that they should not make a decision that cannot be reversed for a transient situation that will eventually pass. 

He said, “Many of you are thinking, ‘I have a good life. This is a nice speech, but it doesn’t really apply to me.’ But know this: you can reach out and help someone in need.”

MOJO told students that he was once asked, “Mr. MOJO, do you really think you can save the world?” His reply was, “I don’t know, but I can change SOMEONE’S world.”  - written by staff at The SAFE Foundation

 

If you or someone you know needs help, please call our   24/7 confidential hotline

1-866-569-SAFE(7233)

Have a question?

E-mail: ask@thesafefoundation.org