( Joey Cabasso)
When a crowd of 12th-grade boys is silent in a
classroom, you know that there is something very interesting going on. On
January 27th, Joe Cabasso visited The Yeshivah of Flatbush to tell
students in SAFE class about his experiences as a teenager. He said of his
visit, “During my entire presentation, you could hear a pin drop.” After he had
spoken, the questions came in like rapid-fire. He recounted, “Mainly, the kids
asked why drinking or using drugs is bad, if it is just a once-in-a-while
thing. I spoke to them about what I went through and what I’ve seen.”
Joe told the kids that when he was a teen, he had so many
friends that thought that they were just trying a drug once, but how only a few
of those people are sober today. He said, “Most are stuck in a really bad
place. It started with drinking. Then, when the drinking just didn’t deliver
the same high, they began smoking pot. Then, they got hooked on pills, etc.…"
Joe said, "I gave an example of how a kid’s first car can be
a Honda, and it is so exciting, because it’s his first car. Then, he gets bored
and wants a BMW. When the thrill of the BMW wears off, he wants a Porsche. The
same thing applies to alcohol and drugs. These substances are extremely
addicting; it is very, very difficult to escape once hooked.”
He said, “Many students wanted to know what I would do if I caught
my kid drinking or taking drugs. I told them that I hope to think of myself as
a parent who will know what direction my child is taking very early on. If he
ever did come to me with this news, I’d make him feel comfortable enough to say
anything. Right away, I’d get him to counseling and also try to change his
group of friends.
“I told the boys that I didn’t understand why the kids I was
hanging out with never tried to get me to slow down, even when they saw how
much trouble I was getting myself into. Later, I understood that those weren’t
my true friends. They didn’t care that I was out of control. If they did care,
they would have tried to help me long ago. It is hard to find a true, good
friend who is looking out for you.
“I ended by saying that they should try to be a person they
themselves would bet on, a person who will be one of the success stories in
tomorrow's newspaper. If they start drinking and hanging out with a crowd that
is leading them down a dangerous path now, they will surely not be that happy
story in next year's news. I urged them to aim for better.”
SAFE teacher, Eli Amzalag said that the next week the students
still wanted to talk about Joe’s visit. “We spoke about how to create a barrier
to protect oneself from getting involved in drugs, about finding friends that
bring them to a better place in life and not putting themselves in situations
where they have to exercise restraint. We also rehearsed replies that they’d
feel comfortable enough saying if offered drugs.
“I find that Joe’s visit really hit home. He spoke about places
and scenarios that the students are familiar with. He also detailed what he was
experiencing at each age, so the boys were able to compare and contrast their
development with his.”
Eli continued, “Everyone believes that he is not going to be that
person though; that nothing is going to happen; that he is strong and that the
substances will have no lasting effect. They point to examples of men who do
drugs but are still successful in the business world, but I tell them that for
every success story, there are many more with failed marriages, who are
unhappy, and who are struggling to live a productive life.”
Eli’s message to parents is: “If you know that your child is
using, don’t be afraid to take action. Many parents fear that if they make a
fuss, the news will get out and their child’s name will be tarnished, but the
way I see it, it is better to risk this exposure than to allow him to continue
on a path that will surely be more tragic.”
Joe said, “I was so impressed with the SAFE teachers; we are so
lucky to have them working with our community’s kids. They are so
knowledgeable, loving and understanding. If I had a program like that when I
was in high school, life would have been very different.”
A version of this article was published in Image Magazine.
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